Writing Practice 12/6/2018 – A pack of 20 sponges

A pack of 20 sponges is good for…

All kinds of things. And not just the mundane, like kitchen cleaning or washing your car. In a pinch, they can be thrown into a pillowcase and be used for comfort while you sleep. A wrestling team should probably have not just 20, but like 10 packs of 20 on hand, for when the practice gets extra-bloody and they need to keep up.

If you’re on a porn set, and the ladies start doing “tricks” with their parts, then you will want all of those for cleaning up.

A pack of 20 can be a landing pad for a hamster doing gymnastic tricks. Like humans, who vault or do their releases from the high beam and land in that big pit of huge spongy cubes, a small pack would be just perfect for when you’re teaching little Mittens or Chubby or Dale the Guinea Pig how to run along a little balance beam and jump off. Can you imagine how cute that would be, to see those little legs waddling down that little beam, and then to watch a furball the size of your fist take a miniature leap into that little pile of sponges? Soo cute.

A pack of 20 sponges is good for a science classroom, especially when they start to get into the units on chemical reactions. Remember when we were all in the fifth grade, and everyone was trying to build examples of volcanoes? Some baking soda, some other shit, red foot coloring, and a stain on your desk that wouldn’t come out for weeks. Well, with a handy supply of sponges ready, you can head off that stain before it even starts.

A 20-pack of sponges could also be an emergency pack of sanitary pads. Now, they probably won’t work as tampons. At least, not by or with self-insertion. [author’s note: Here I start to laugh at myself while writing.] They don’t have that applicator-thingy, so I imagine it would be kind of tough to do it yourself. Thus it’s a two-person job: one to hold the doors open, one to make the Delivery! (HA HA HA – I’m literally laughing as I write this!)

And the last thing that a 20-pack of sponges is good for is to take with you to a fraternity party. Both men and women can benefit. Women – stuff your bras. You’ll look hotter, cuter, whichever you want. Men – stuff your pants. You won’t look any better, but since you’re going to get plastered and piss yourself, the sponge can ensure you don’t make a mess on my fraternity’s dance floor in the process.

–Peace!