Writing Practice 1/19/2019

Naps are best when…

Naps are best when you’re tired, but not exhausted. Tired means you can refresh with just a twenty or forty minutes of rest. Exhausted means you need hours. Naps are not appropriate for hours. They’re best in 20 or 30 minute intervals. Lay down, close eyes, rest. You may fall asleep but more likely than not you won’t get all the way down. Just into a comfortable, relaxed state. And then, you can recover some energy – you can refresh, you can just experience the day a little bit better afterwards, and you aren’t so imposed upon by your biologicals.

Naps are great for car trips. Like, when your driver has things under control, and you’ve been reading a book, and you notice it drooping down in your hands, and all of a sudden you find yourself reading the bottom paragraph of the left-hand page, and you scan back up a little and you find that you don’t quite remember the top half of that page, so you flip one page earlier and you don’t recognize that side either, nor the stuff on the page before that, but when you turn one more, There, you remember that! That’s where he said he didn’t love her anymore and that he wanted to break up, gosh, must have been kind of snoozing for like five minutes or so to read like 3 whole pages without noticing, [illegible] that [illegible] means its time for a nap, so you look at your driver, and give a little smile, and confirm that it’s okay of you nod off a few minutes, road trips always make you sleepy, and your driver says of course, and asks if you’d like the audiobook radio volume turned down just a little, and you demure, no, it’s all right, really, and you put a hand out to stop the hand that was approaching the control knob, and you lean your own reclining bucket seat back a few degrees, just like it was made to do, and you curl your legs up beneath your thighs, under the blanket you brought along, you know the one, that little blue-and-white throw that your mother-in-law got you on your birthday last year, and so then you snuggle in a little bit and feel the soothing rumble of the van on the highway and hear the monotone drone in the background as the narrator reviles your driver once more with the exploits of that mild-mannered retiree-turned-detective, and you glance quickly over your shoulder to see two children equally passed out in their own latter-row seats, similarly cocooned in their respective throws, and it is good to be making this trip, it is good to see family, it is good to get out of the house, and you’ll just close your eyes for a few minutes, and wouldn’t you know it you wake up four hours later and you’re almost there already, my how that trip went by so fast.

That’s what naps are good for.

Stuff I Just Want To Write Down – 6/4/2018 version

Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed a trend. I seem to be getting a lot of hits on my review of Mocelli watches. This is pretty cool! When I look at the stats I see that starting about April there was a big jump in the # of daily views. Many of them that watch review, but many others as well. Come for the scam, stay for the story! my grandmother used to say.

No, she didn’t. I made that up.

She did say, though, “If someone says a bad word, just don’t hear it.”

And she said, when she was talking about how to make bread, that you grab the flour can under one arm, and sugar can under the other, and when you’re measuring, you “take one hump of this, and two humps of that,” and she would kind of shrug her shoulder and pretend to be shaking the flour or sugar into the bowl. I never understood whether it was two parts sugar to one part flour, or the other way around.

I was going to tell the story of how I saw my grandmother’s breasts once, but I decided I don’t really remember what happened. It could have been just in her bra. Not sure. So I don’t want to go back to those repressed memories.

Not sure where this is going. I started out on watches, and now I’m onto incest. Ew, gross.

In more interesting news, my 15-year-old daughter told me tonight she isn’t entirely convinced that Earth is a sphere. She thinks there’s a non-zero chance that the flat-Earthers are right. I smacked her upside the head and said, “Don’t believe stupid stuff.” She tried to defend against the smacks by holding up her cat. So I flicked her on the forehead instead.

This whole post has been uncurated. I’ve just sort of let myself write things down and see what comes out. This is not Writing Practice (I already did that) and it’s not a pointed Personal Expression, where I have something important to say. It’s just my thoughts on today.

I know, pretty low-quality stuff right here.

THE END

P.S. I started reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. It’s pretty powerful stuff. I’m rethinking my “angry white boy doesn’t give two shits about the world around him” stance.

P.P.S. I checked the stats. Turns out my Mocelli watches review has 109 views so far in June. The Home Page / Archives has just 9. Apparently I’ve done something right to get that page into some kind of preference for Google searches. May was just as lopsided – something like 230 views for Mocelli, and like 45 for the next most popular page. So I got that going for me.