Write about glasses…

They fit on your nose and improve your sight by magic. Because what else could it be? It can only be wizardry of the greatest sort, for how can something virtually invisible have such an effect? Think about it – one little piece of burnt up sand, melted together into a lump and then shaped into a flat disc, can now transform far-away objects to your immediate vicinity, or it can make the things which are close and appear fuzzy into sharp relief. Science? Nah – Just a big mind-fuck. Like, “Take that, intuition! I’m gonna show you what for with this little bit of cold, used-to-be-real-hot rock, because this thing that you can see through is actually going to do something for you, and it’s gonna blow. Your. Mind.”

And we call them glasses, they’re a pair. Two different ones, because we have learned that there are even individual differences between our two eyes. And that one person’s eyes are different from other people’s! Again, this speaks not so much to a history of science, measurement, testing and validation fo theory, and more to the idea that, somehow, maybe some mystical sprites are fucking around with our eyes inside our head, like they’re sticking their little fifth-dimension fingers inside our eyeballs every time we put on the glasses, and they’re adjusting all the dials and levers back there so that our brain gets all the right signals, like a big pipe works, you just got to direct the flow like that over there and like this over here, and all of a sudden voila! Perfecto!

But we can’t do that ourselves, our fingers are too three-dimensional and materialistic to make the [illegible], so we’ve employed, no, we’ve enslaved, we’ve conscripted this entire race of non-human, trans-dimensional beings to come do our work for us, and I wonder if they’re ever gong to get tired of that? Will they one day rise up in revolt, and say “No! No more shall we manipulate your eye sockets! No more shall we present to you a better, sharper picture of the world. no more shall we help you to avoid stumbling over Lego pieces when you’re just barely awake and you’d really rather have a cup of coffee and watch the replay of last night’s Charlie Rose but you are just doing your duty by getting these damn kids up and onto the bus, so you can finally have a morning’s peace around here. No, no more!”

Will they have their revolution then? Will they turn off all the spigots and spouts and rerouters back in our minds as one last FU! before they go? Will we all of a sudden wake up to find we humans have become collectively sightless once more? Now, that would be weird.