Disgusted By Modern Life

A few weeks ago I saw a beautiful picture in the local weekly paper. A happy couple, dressed up in their finest attire, kissing with passion. I’m pretty sure it was these people:


Now, I don’t have anything against weddings. Hell, I had one myself. Flowers, pretty dress, booze, rain, fraternity brothers hitting on sorority sisters, pictures in a book, tears, dancing, falling asleep before you could consummate, the whole works.

Weddings are fine things. They’re fun, they’re exciting, they’re a momentous occasion. I think they should be special.

I also think they should be reasonable. And what’s unreasonable about the picture I saw, in that newspaper, was that it was a full-page advertisement. For a bank.

Your Perfect Day

We’ll help you pay for it.

Wedding Loans as low as 4.99% APR

Special Rate through March 31

Ugh. Disgusting. We have now sunk so low as a society where this is acceptable. Where going into debt for an experience is considered reasonable. Where people who don’t have enough money to support themselves somehow think borrowing money is going to solve that problem.

Where bank executives, driven by profit targets, see an untapped opportunity and instead of counseling people to, perhaps, I don’t know, LIVE WITHIN THEIR MEANS!, reach out and collect interest from those who would likely be better off delaying the party for a year in order to save for it properly.

Where “investors”, a.k.a. you and me in our 401(k)s, seek ever higher and higher returns, driving bank executives to predatory practices, driving advertisement that indebtedness is a good thing to people who really shouldn’t be borrowing and are too naive to know better, driving dissatisfaction with life and the marriage, driving, ultimately, a negative cycle of emotion and action.

Don’t get me wrong – borrowing can have its good uses. Mortgage on a house, college loans, even auto loans are all using money to create more value for those who borrow. But borrowing to have a party? Putting yourself even further behind as you start your relationship? Seems ridiculous and short-sighted on the part of those who are taking out the loans, seems predatory for those who are making them, and seems negligent for those friends and family members who are sitting around and encouraging it.

Please stop this modern merry-go-round. I’m sick, and I want to get off.

5 thoughts on “Disgusted By Modern Life

  1. Actually, my husband and I took a loan out a loan to get married. He was being deployed to Iraq the following Spring. In order for me to stay in military housing and have health insurance, to get a discount doing “Hops” to fly nearer to him to visit, to be able to collect life insurance in the event of his death. When we got married, my husband received a 46% raise just for having a wife. So the loan, which was taken out in December. It was paid back before he left in April. It was a bank that gave special interest rates to military. So we took advantage. The cost of the loan was 0.00%. The wedding was beautiful and very special. My husband was killed in October 2006. One month before I was scheduled to visit him in Europe. I am so fortunate we were able to have such a wonderful photographer. Narrow minded people who could never put themselves in someone else’s shoes would say it was a bad decision. I am thankful my husband and I were not closed off to exploring our options to be happy. It was a wonderful memory.


    1. Thank you, Dana, for sharing your story. First off, I’m saddened by your loss. It’s never a good thing to lose someone you cared for.

      Second, thank you for showing a great counter-example to the exploitative consumerism I was reading into the situation. I guess it goes to show that not everything is cut-and-dried. Best of luck in your days, and may you keep those wonderful memories forever.


      1. SJ, I have been reading your blog for awhile now. It is hard to follow at times….contains so much emotion. If you give half as much feeling to yourself and the people close to you. Then, I would say they and you are the most fortunate people around. Your words contain “heart”.. Some of the best writing comes from a mind that has no time to think. Sounds like you are hurting. I have been there. Perhaps not exactly where you are…I would like to see you do more free writing, honest writing. Writing that hurts or tickles. You have such a gift and you can use it to heal your heart from whatever it is that has happened in your past. Once you put something on paper, you cannot deny it. It can help others.
        Thank you for your response. Quick question, how are you any different than the banker? If a person, can at no monetary value, write and heal others through his own deep emotional experiences, Then doesn’t it seem similar to that of the bank loan that he would then make money from non-profit interest thats help others when his honest words could heal at no cost, no investment, no interest?
        Yours Truly, Dana
        p.s. Use your words. some of us communicate on paper, some of us through music, others dancing or
        discussion. show us how your gift can heal.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. SJ,
        like this…….
        Love is valuable. Love is a treasure, to be searched for and sought out. Love is a purity, a great price. And it should not be given lightly, and should not be valued as a gaudy, plastic bauble. It should be viewed as a gleaming lamp set upon the highest hill, a beacon calling out to all those who hurt, who fear, who hesitate. It says “come to me, and rest here. It might not be easy, no. It will have heartache. It will have disappointment. It will have highs and lows, higher than you dreamed and lower than you believed you could survive. It will be wonderful and terrible. But it will be worth it. It will be precious, and encouraging, and essential to you. It will lead you on, and on, and on. It won’t be easy. It will be worth it.”

        So – Love. What is it?

        Love is … worth it.
        p.s. This is powerful, it is deep, it is wisdom and truth. It cannot be denied. It has emotion that comes from somewhere in you and it is truly inspirational.
        contact dana.seralis@yahoo.com


  2. Thanks, Dana, for again keeping me honest. You wrote: “how are you any different than the banker? … Then doesn’t it seem similar to that of the bank loan that he would then make money from non-profit interest thats help others when his honest words could heal at no cost, no investment, no interest?”

    I’m not sure I am any different from the banker. I eat, I breathe, I want, I provide. I love, and I hurt, and I waste time, and I get shit done. In those senses, I am no different from anyone else. Which, I guess, is your point.


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